Who writes your script?

"Who writes your script?", Graham Gooch had asked about Ian Botham, way back in 1986.

Fast forward to 2009, and the eternal scriptwriter sitting up there has written another improbable one.

Two countries, torn by internal conflicts and ethnic strife. One country facing a virtual seige by other cricket playing countries due to safety reasons, the other country empathising and agreeing to undertake a tour, and mid-way through the tour, their team bus gets attacked by terrorists!

Months later, these countries playing in a World Cup final!

How much more poetic can you get?

Congratulations, Younus Khan and Kumara Sangakkara, for the lovely game of cricket and for the spirit in which it was played considering the recent history.

A lot of us (myself included, I must confess) had not counted on Pakistan and Sri Lanka contesting the finals. But then, were we wrong? In the short history of this format of the game, these are the two best countries. After all, a 77% W/L record for Pakistan and a 70% W/L record for SL is not something to be sneezed at, is it?

Compare that to India. Notwithstanding our last championship win, we just have a 56% W/L record, and are 5th in the placings. (Count that 4th, because Netherlands with 3 wins out of 5 are statistically above us).

And yet; we eat, drink, sleep and dream only cricket.

An indication of this - on the day when the T20 World Cup final took place, another momentous event in Indian sport unfolded on the other side of the world. Saina Nehwal won the Indonesian Open Super Series badminton title beating the World No.3 in the final. Saina herself is ranked 8, and aims to be in the top 5 by the end of this year.

Here’s a little analysis of the coverage given to each event by 3 major English broadsheet dailies in Mumbai.

Look at that – an Indian winning a major sport played across the world had much lesser coverage than a sport played by a handful of countries, and where India was already out.

I wish I could do a comparison of TV channels too, simply because I flipped through news channels for about 45 minutes this morning, and could find news coverage, scrollers etc. repeating T20 ad nauseum, but not a single mention of Saina Nehwal’s victory.

We keep mentioning about how we need to promote sports other than cricket, but when it comes to practicing what one preaches, it is obvious that TV channels and mainstream English dailies (with the exception of DNA) are way behind.

Apart from a Paes, Bhupathi, Sania and Anand, it is rare to see a mention of any sportsperson other than a cricketer. And that was also after they became too big to be ignored.

We write in salacious details about Dhoni’s and Yuvraj’s love lives, but we are mum when it comes to the sporting achievements of champions in other sports. Net result – most people would not even know the names of sportsmen who have brought laurels to the country in their sports.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a test. I am mentioning the names of 29 Indian sportspersons who are champions at their respective sports. Let’s see how many can you guess?

Abhinav Bindra, Akhil Kumar, Al Lakra, Anjali Bhagwat, Anju Bobby George, Anwar Sultan, Armaan Ebrahim, Dinesh Kumar, Jaspal Rana, Jayanta Talukdar, Jitender Kumar, Karan Malik, Koneru Humpy, Limba Ram (he lives in a garage today), Mahesh Chandran Panchanathan, Manavjit Singh, Mangal Singh Champia, Mansher Singh, Mary Kom, P Harikrishna, Parimarjan Negi, Parthiva Sureshwaren, Rahul Banerjee, Ravi Dixit, Sandipan Chanda, Saurav Ghosal, Suranjoy Singh, Tania Sachdev, Vijender Singh

I rest my case. Thank You.

Should Traffic Police be given incentives for fine collections?

As promised, I’m back this week – though without all the thoughts put together – I must confess!

Interestingly, there is an added incentive to me to really get angry and pour all my vitriol in this post. Between Friday and Sunday, the rear of my car was kissed twice; once by an auto and once by a Sumo. Thank Allah there was no major damage – just a few scratches.

So, let me start this blog with an incident that took place in Switzerland, about a decade ago. A colleague of mine – let’s call him Raj – was there in winter; around late Dec-early Jan. One night, he had to go to someone’s house for dinner. It was past midnight when he was returning, it was snowing heavily, there was not a soul on the roads – just him, and the taxi driver.

At a junction, the driver stopped. Raj exhorted him to move on, pointing out that there was not a single vehicle coming from any direction, not a single person, not even a stray dog! Added to it, the junction was not manned by any policeman or a camera. Yet the driver refused to move till the signal turned green!

Imagine, stopping at a red signal knowing fully well that there is no problem if he jumped it! When Raj asked him, all that the driver had to say was “There was a red signal and I had to obey it”.

This was one extreme example of people obeying traffic rules. On the other hand, I have seen instances abroad where drivers were caught and fined for a simple offence like moving on to the shoulder of the road, when not allowed. The stick ensured compliance.

Moving from that, why is our mentality related to traffic the way it is? With the clarity of distance (Thank You, David Rock and RCS) and asking the 5 Why’s (Thank You, Sakichi Toyoda San), let’s try to understand it.

So, the fact is that we break traffic rules with impunity
Why – Because everyone else does it
Why – Because we know we can get away with it
Why – Because we can bribe the policeman
Why – Because he is underpaid. (I read somewhere once that a ‘gataari kaamgar’ – a person who cleans the drains – in the Mumbai Municipal Corporation has a higher salary than a constable. Can someone please remind me of the reference or correct me if I’m wrong?)

Got that in 4 why’s.

There is also another way to look at it.

So, the fact is that we break traffic rules with impunity
Why – Because everyone else does it
Why – Because we know we can get away with it
Why – Because there would be no policeman to catch us
Why – Because there are not enough policemen. (Tried opening the website of the Mumbai police to ascertain the number. Most pages do not open! Finally, on one page, I read this line – “The Traffic Control Branch has now grown to a strength of over 2,000” (Ref: http://www.mumbaipolice.org/traffic/org_fun7.htm) . And the Navi Mumbai Traffic Police chart shows a staff strength of 277. Yes, you read right, just 277. (Ref: http://www.trafficpolicemumbai.org/Navi%20Mumbai%20Traffic%20Police%20Zones%20&chowkies.htm)
Again, got that in 4.

Imagine, 2,277 policemen, including inspectors, senior policemen et al, for an area comprising the entire population of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!!!

Have a heart, folks, for the overworked and underpaid policeman.

So, in short, policemen accept bribes because they are overworked; and because they are underpaid. In other words, monetarily dissatisfied. And here is an easy way out to earn some additional bucks, and possibly get back in some oblique way at the establishment.

So, why don’t we give them their due – and in the right way?

Just a thought. Increase fines to high levels, such that people will think not twice, but multiple times, about breaking rules. I mean, Rs.1,000 for driving in the wrong lane (I’d love to see those truckers on Vashi Bridge lining up), Rs.3,000 for overspeeding, Rs.5,000 for a jumping a red light...

And have an incentive scheme for the policeman – just like most salespeople have. 25% straight on every fine earned for the policeman, 5% for the superior officer. Keep 20% for quarterly incentives for the policeman / police station. That still leaves 50% of the amount that goes to the kitty of the traffic police for modernisation etc. Make all this amount tax free, and have strong rules on policemen caught over-charging commuters – or worse still, yet accepting bribes. A simple rule – dishonourable discharge.

Have surprise checks to ensure compliance, and get the college youth involved in this. NSS – here’s a chance to do something really visible, and earn grace marks.

What say, folks? We could put our collective heads together and present it as a case to the Jt. CP – Traffic. Simple, implementable thoughts on traffic management, including possibly-
Incentive schemes for policemen
Alternate days for vehicles to come on the roads
No four wheeler with only one driver / passenger in the morning / evening peak drive times to be allowed
Come to think of it – hologrammed number plates installed directly by the traffic police. Revenue for the police, and a way out of the number plate mess that we have. Incidentally, have you noticed, most cars having ‘fancy’ / regional number plates also have a symbol of one of the four major political parties?

Maybe it could be a way out of the mess that we have, maybe not. Maybe there would be all the bureaucratic rigmarole that would drag us down, maybe not. But we would never know till we try, right?

So folks, I’m adding two polls to this post. Do you think that incentivising policemen for fine collection is a viable idea, and should we take up some similar thoughts and present them to the Jt. CP – Traffic. I shall look forward to your comments and your votes.

Finally, some action by the Municipal Authorities

Finally, all the roads around our house are being re-laid and paved. Even the broken drainage pipe near our house has been replaced. :-)

I’d like to believe that the blog worked, but it was more due to the efforts of my mother and my wife. I’ve lost count of the times they went to the Ward Office, called up the Ward Officer and other officers and generally made sure that their voices were heard.

They do really deserve a treat for this!

And Waseem, you’re right in your comment about our mentality related to traffic. Your comment has brought to the fore some thoughts that have been simmering at the back of my mind for quite a while now.

I’m going to try and put them in some semblance of order by next week. A couple of them sound a bit radical to me, and I would like the opinion of all of you on whether I should take them beyond the blog into some sort of action.

Watch this post next week.

Impinging upon a media planner's work

Was at a meeting with some media planners last week, trying to convince them that they should use our media vehicle for their plans, when one of the young planners turned around and asked me, “Mubin, do you really think we’re not convinced about your publication?” When I answered that I believed they were quite convinced, he queried next, “And do you think we would not take it if we had the choice?”

And that had me stumped!

I mean, it is an unspoken truth that media planners are arguably the most overworked and least paid group in advertising. And here was a young planner who was now hinting (and overtly – I might add - in the ensuing discussion) that there were not only pressures from the client, but also otherwise, that were impinging upon his work.

Media Planning has seen a huge exodus over the past few years, to the extent that most agencies are now working with a couple of senior level people, and then a lot of ‘bachchas’. Clients are screaming about the lack of quality; and we all know the reasons why – and are turning a blind eye to it, in the immediate interest – the here and now.

And now this new angle, which I could clearly see was turning a young (2-3 years of work experience) media planner into a cynic.

I’m afraid, very afraid!!!

Politics in India

Politics in India...has finally...

...gone to the dogs :-D :-D :-D