End of a Relationship!

A 20-year relationship came to an end last week!

I think it was in '92 or '93. I was working on her account, and the Marketing Head had introduced me to her.

One thing led to another, and soon we were in a relationship.

Time went by, the Marketing team changed, but we kept in close touch.

Then I changed jobs and moved to a different area. I had much lesser time for her, but we still kept in touch, meeting occasionally.

Then I met my future wife and had a 'chat mangni-pat byaah' (a quick marriage) without informing her.

All this while, she was also changing. Perhaps we were outgrowing each other.

Life went on; she made new friends, and so did I. But our relationship continued.

Then in 2003, I introduced her to my wife.

This meeting became the start of the second phase of our relationship - a much more intense phase.

I was abroad for more than three years after that, and we were in touch almost every month of those three years.

My return in Dec 06 and the subsequent work again meant that I could not devote time to her.

We kept in touch off and on, corresponding more on e-mails and phone (initiated nearly always by her, I must confess!) and meeting once in a while when I was in South Mumbai.

I think during this time we must've realised we drifted too far apart, but neither of us was willing to accept it.

Finally, last year, I finally brought up the 'break-up' word.

As expected, there was the usual discussion, 'Let's change this', 'Let's give it one more chance' etc. And we continued for one more year.

Finally we realised. Enough was enough. It would just not work out. We were just too physically far away from each other for a long, long time!

But while it lasted, I must confess, it was a beautiful relationship!

Hope our paths cross again sometime, and we meet again!

(For all you perverts out there, ‘She’ in this case is my HSBC SmartMoneyAccount which I had opened 20 years ago, and converted it to an NRE account with my wife in 03. I just closed my account last week. Heh heh)

Tilak and the degeneration of Ganesh Chaturthi

Circa 1893. The great freedom fighter, statesman and writer, Lokmanya Bal Gangadhar Tilak, was pondering ways and means of getting people together and spreading the message of freedom among them.

To keep the colonies in check, the British had discouraged all sorts of political and social gatherings, thus having political rallies was extremely difficult.

In Pune, from where he published his Marathi daily, Kesari, and English weekly, Mahratta (Maratha), Lokmanya Tilak saw the celebration of Ganeshotsav at the homes of certain families. While this festival was mainly a family affair, certain influential families were celebrating it as a public festival, where people were encouraged to visit their ‘waadas’ (palatial family homes) and the immersion procession was taken out on the roads with public participation.

Lokmanya Tilak saw the potential of this festival as a good opportunity to get people across castes and communities together for not one, but ten days without significant interference from the British, and in 1894, established the first Sarvajanik Ganpati (public Ganpati) at Vinchurkarwada, Pune.

This became a significant point in India’s freedom struggle, because large numbers of people were now gathering together for a cause, and the British could do precious little about it.

The movement quickly spread to various cities over the next decade or so. And the Ganeshotsav – apart from being a religious festival – became the hub for political gatherings, interactions between communities, intellectual discourses, folk arts etc.

With the British leaving India, the festival ideally should have gone back to being a family affair, but as it had now incorporated a lot of the social elements to it, it continued.

Till the late 1980s, the basic fabric of the festival remained as Lokmanya Tilak envisaged it – a community festival to encourage people to get together and celebrate it in the spirit of simplicity.

I still remember seeing the Ganesh festivals where people used to play ‘lezhim’, sing songs, have group dances and generally celebrate these as socio-cultural gatherings. I also remember seeing the music and dance stop whenever the procession used to approach any religious place of another community, and move on after exchanging pleasantries. The approximately 30 meter area around any masjid or church used to be a silence zone enforced by the participants themselves (I have personally seen this numerous times at Byculla, Lalbaug, Mazagaon and Parel).

However, with the emergence of another Bal (how ironic!), this festival quickly degenerated over the next few years, and how!

Today, all we can associate Ganeshotsav with is pollution. Pollution of every kind.

Noise pollution: Just a couple of days ago, we read about the glass windows of a popular eatery in Mahim being shattered due to the noise of the music being played by a procession. We’ve also seen all the reports of noise touching 115 decibels. And I have cotton stuffed in my ears, despite the windows being closed, as I write this!

Environmental pollution: The use of Shaadu Mati (earthern mud or clay), natural colours (haldi, gulab etc.) and other natural ingredients to make idols was relevant, as the idols being immersed at the end of the celebrations represented the cycle of nature. The harmful effects of the increasing use of PoP, chemical colours etc. are too many to enumerate.

Cultural pollution: Starting from electronic music, to DJs and Trance Music, what next! Does anyone even remember lezhim?

Communal pollution: Instead of religious areas of other communities being silence zones, they are actually increased noise and slogan shouting zones. We are the living witnesses of the consequences of such activity.

Political pollution: What else do we call it when the cutouts of so-called ‘social workers’ and their acolytes are larger than the statues of Ganesh themselves.

And finally, Religious pollution: It is amazing how certain Sarvajanik Ganpatis and certain other idols have acquired amazing powers over the past decade or so, especially in terms of being able to acquire multi-crores of income for their mandals or trusts.

Anyway, Happy Anant Chaturdashi, folks!

Sources: Wikipedia, ekmev.com, maharashtraspider.com, Kesari

...And some have greatness thrust upon them

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” –William Shakespeare

How true this quote is! And it cannot be truer than in the case of the children of our beloved political leaders.

Right from a very young age, they have their career path clearly defined, with success guaranteed!

What I have found most interesting is that such greatness is thrust upon them not only by the parents themselves, but by the assortment of so-called uncles, aunts and other sycophants who have made fawning into a fine art form.

It is amazing how people who come up with some good ideas and thoughts are so happy to easily pass on the credit to novices who

And hence we have cases where an unknown college student is suddenly the visionary of a political sena, a foreign-returned environmental engineer is the driving force behind his party’s recent victories (never mind the work done by his father and other associates for the past two decades) and becomes the youngest Chief Minister in India, a pilot without any political experience becomes India’s Prime Minister and his son – who has nothing to show either - is the next big hope.

To be honest, people earlier than me have also raised this point, and they have been shut up with the usual counter-argument, “A doctor’s son becomes a doctor, an actor’s son becomes an actor, so what is wrong with a politician’s son becoming a politician?”

True, a lot of people follow their parent’s professions. But they take a long time and expend every effort to reach a level. It is not given to them on a platter as soon as they enter their chosen field. Kumar Gaurav was the son of Jubilee Kumar and yet he fell by the wayside, Abhishek Bachchan has still not become the hottest star, despite being the son of The Big B, Surinder Amarnath and Rohan Gavaskar could not sustain despite being the children of legends. Even in business, Tanya Dubash started off as a Brand Manager in her father’s company, and took nearly 15 years to grow up the ladder. Not to mention that she has all the right academic credentials too.

Fact of the matter is – in any other profession, parental association can give you a head start, but it is only your own work that will take you to success. No amount of parental support or sycophancy will work beyond a point, if you are not good enough.

The only exception – and I challenge anyone to correct me on this – is politics, where all you need is the right genes to become an overnight leader.

P.S. This thought was going through my mind for a few weeks, but the immediate stimulus for this post was a banner wishing a politician on his birthday that I saw last week, which had the photograph of his 12 year old son - complete with his school uniform - showcasing the child as the new great white hope!

Zakaat (Part 2: Who is eligible to receive it, and who should not be given)

Thanks for your lovely e-mails and messages on my previous post. Interestingly, most of them are on my e-mail, a couple of facebook and just one as a comment here! :-)

Basis your messages, thought it would be apt for me to also write about the people who are eligible to receive Zakaat, and the people who should not be given Zakaat.

According to the Qur’an, eight categories of people are eligible to receive Zakaat.

Alms are for the poor and the needy, and those employed to administer the (funds); for those whose hearts have been (recently) reconciled (to Truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the cause of Allah; and for the wayfarer: (thus is it) ordained by Allah, and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom. (Qur’an 9:60; Translation by Yusuf Ali)

Let me describe these further:

The Poor: The Arabic word used in the Qur’an is Fuqara’a. This refers to people who earn or have the means to sustain their bare existence, but their wealth is below the value of the amount that makes it necessary for them to give Zakaat.

The Needy: Referred to in the Qur’an as Masakeen. This refers to people who are extremely poor and have no wealth at all – not even to sustain their basic necessities.

Those employed to administer funds: (Arabic – Aa’mileen). In Islamic countries, there are people employed by the Government to collect Zakaat. Even in India and many other countries, there are groups of people who collect Zakaat and distribute it among the needy. They may themselves be wealthy, but are collecting Zakaat for / on behalf of others. It is eligible to give Zakaat to these people.

Those whose hearts have been recently reconciled: (Arabic - Mu-allafatul Quloob). These are deserving people who have recently embraced Islam. Zakaat can be given to them as it would help reconcile their hearts further towards Islam.

Those in bondage or slavery: (Arabic – Al-Riqaab). It is encouraged to give Zakaat to those who are held in slavery, in order to free them.

Those in debt: (Arabic – Gharimeen). Self-explanatory. Giving Zakaat to someone who is in debt in order to help remove his burden is encouraged. Of course, it is important that the debt is not due to any un-Islamic reason.

Those travelling in the way of Allah: (Arabic – Fee-sabeel-Illah). Those who are travelling in the path of Allah, spreading his word or working for Islam. Islamic Missionaries would come under this definition.

Travellers: (Arabic – Ibnis-sabeel). A traveller who is stranded and in need of financial assistance. This person may otherwise be wealthy, but that does not disqualify him, as he is needy at the present juncture.

Among these too, it is encouraged to first give Zakaat to your near relatives, as they are most deserving of your Zakaat. These relatives include siblings, their children, uncle, aunt, step-grandfather, step-grandmother, father-in-law, and mother-in-law.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "The best charity is that which is practiced by a wealthy person. And start giving first to your dependents." (Bukhari: Book 2, Volume 24, Hadith 507)

Then, your poor neighbours are deserving of your Zakaat. In fact, the rights of neighbours in Islam are extremely strong.

'A'isha reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Gabriel impressed upon me (kind treatment) towards the neighbour (so much) that I thought as if he would confer upon him the (right) of inheritance. (Muslim: Book 32, Hadith 6354)

At the same time, among the relatives, Zakaat cannot be given to parents, grandfather, etc., or to one's children and grandchildren. A husband and wife cannot give Zakat to each other.

Zakaat also cannot be given to an able bodied person who can take care of himself, but does not do so. This is also applicable for all forms of charity.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Sadaqah may not be given to a rich man or to one who has strength and is sound in limbs. (Dawud: Book 9, Hadith 1630)

The importance of working for one’s bread is mentioned in a separate Hadith.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "No doubt, it is better for a person to take a rope and proceed in the morning to the mountains and cut the wood and then sell it, and eat from this income and give alms from it than to ask others for something." (Bukhari: Book 2, Volume 24, Hadith 558)

And lastly, Zakaat cannot be given to descendents of Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam).

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Al-Hasan bin 'Ali took a date from the dates given in charity and put it in his mouth. The Prophet said, "Expel it from your mouth. Don't you know that we do not eat a thing which is given in charity?" (Bukhari: Book 2, Volume 24, Hadith 568)

Zakaat

Another possibly five days to the holiest month of the Islamic (Hijri) calendar – the month of Ramadaan.

Muslims over the world would fast during the day and establish more prayers at night, while continuing to work their normal office routine as required.

This is also the month when most of us will pay our Zakaat. Very badly translated as wealth tax in most definitions, Zakaat is the amount that believers who have a certain amount of wealth give as charity to their less fortunate Muslim brothers and sisters.

Paying of Zakaat is one of the five principles of Islam.

Narrated Ibn 'Umar:

Allah's Apostle said: Islam is based on (the following) five (principles):

1. To testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad is Allah's Apostle

2. To offer the (compulsory congregational) prayers dutifully and perfectly

3. To pay Zakaat (i.e. obligatory charity)

4. To perform Hajj (i.e. Pilgrimage to Makkah)

5. To observe fast during the month of Ramadan

(Bukhari: Book 1, Volume 2, Hadith 7)

There are numerous references to charity in the Qur’an. Just to mention two-

It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing. (Qur’an 2:177; Translation by Yusuf Ali)

O ye who believe! Give of the good things which ye have (honourably) earned, and of the fruits of the earth which We have produced for you, and do not even aim at getting anything which is bad, in order that out of it ye may give away something, when ye yourselves would not receive it except with closed eyes. And know that Allah is Free of all wants, and worthy of all praise. (Qur’an 2:267; Translation by Yusuf Ali)

Very simply calculated in today’s times for urban areas, a Muslim who has combined liquid wealth (cash, gold, silver etc), equal to or more than 85 grams (~ 8.5 tola) of gold or 595 grams of silver for more than one lunar year has to give Zakaat equal to a minimum of 2.5% on his total liquid wealth. The more the person gives, obviously, the better.

(There are other calculations of Zakaat on agricultural produce, mined wealth, animals etc. but they are not relevant for the purposes of this blog)

So, why do we pay Zakaat?

The word Zakaat means both 'purification' and 'growth'. Our possessions are purified by setting aside a proportion for those in need, and, like the pruning of plants, this cutting back balances and encourages new growth. (Source: http://www.islamicity.com). The Qur’an has references to both these meanings when referring to payment of charity by Muslims.

Of their goods, take alms, that so thou mightest purify and sanctify them; and pray on their behalf. Verily thy prayers are a source of security for them: And Allah is One Who heareth and knoweth. (Qur’an 9:103; Translation by Yusuf Ali)

The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of Allah is that of a grain of corn: it groweth seven ears, and each ear Hath a hundred grains. Allah giveth manifold increase to whom He pleaseth: And Allah careth for all and He knoweth all things. (Qur’an 2:261; Translation by Yusuf Ali)

Isn’t it interesting? Give, so that you may receive. Give, so that you may be purified.

And I love the analogy of the pruning of the plants. We prune the top of the plants, and what grows is stronger and healthier.

Add to that the unexplainable joy of giving, seeing the smile on the face of the receiver, enjoying Eid with someone who otherwise may not have been able to enjoy it as much; and you would realise why Zakaat is such an important part of our belief.

Day...Uninterrupted

Aah!


After a time longer than I can even remember, I had the entire day - uninterrupted - for self and family yesterday.


Slept like a log till 11:30, light breakfast followed by good lunch; retail therapy for more than two hours with wife, finished most of the grocery shopping for Ramadan; played with the kids, completed quite a few odd jobs around the house.


Intentionally, I did not touch the laptop or the mobile the entire day. And mercifully, with one lone exception, there were no calls!


Honestly, I do not even remember the last time I did this!

And it feels so good! I feel mentally refreshed and ready for the next week.


Monday, here I come!

Blah Blah about Brand Names

Having been a part of many a meeting on new brand launches, I have seen a lot of conversations on the name to be selected for the brand.

"We need a name that conveys the brand's identity".

"You see, the name does not signify the depth of the brand's ethos".

"This name is just there, but not quite! The brand persona is not accurately captured".

And perhaps the best of all - "The brand name should convey the brand values, its promise, what it stands for. It needs to mean something to the consumer”

Earlier, I too would enthusiastically participate in those intellectually stimulating discussions. I must confess I still do, but with reservations on their intellectual stimulation.

I mean, how does a brand mean ‘something’ to the consumer when s/he has never even heard about it?

And does having the ‘brand ethos / persona / values / promise’ in the name necessarily mean that the consumer would take it?

A quick glance at the most successful brands over the years tells me that the brand builds the name, and not vice versa.

Consider Godrej. The most trusted name for locks, FMCG products, furniture and what not. There is absolutely no meaning except that it is the surname of the owners.

Some other large Indian brands that come to mind - Bajaj, Parachute, Amul, Fevicol, Nirma, Parle, Hawkins, Dalda, Patni, Infosys, Wipro, CavinKare...

Can’t link any one of these brands to pre-defined values, persona or promise. In fact, most Indian brands are just family names, and the brand value has evolved over years of building trust with consumers.

Perhaps the best example of this is Tata. I believe it is their trucks that have led to the ubiquituous Indian greeting - ‘Ta Ta, Bye Bye’.

Even worldwide, which is where we tend to look for inspirations, most well-known brand names did not really convey anything initially.

Consider Google – a brand brought about due to a misspelling.

Or Virgin – because no one was one!

Or Apple – a fruit?

McDonalds – another family name.

As I mentioned earlier, brand value evolves over years of building trust with consumers. A name is just an identity, and no more.

It is just like selecting a name for a baby. One needs to choose a name that does not have any negative connotations. And if it has a positive one, that’s great.

But beyond that, invest in building the brand itself. All other connotations will evolve with time.

Ceasefire had one of the most apt Brand Names. Does anyone remember it?

Caught in a traffic jam!

On Sunday, I became a victim of the Mumbai traffic jams for the 3rd time.

The first was when I was a boy and we'd missed the train due to traffic jam on Mohammad Ali Road (this was in the 80s and the iconic flyover was nowhere in sight. For 'those who came in late' - as they say in Phantom comics - the 2.5 km distance usually used to take about an hour)

And the second was a couple of years ago when it took me more than 75 minutes to reach Santacruz airport from Jogeshwari West (spent more than one hour traversing 5 km.) 

But the third was the worst because it involved not me, but the wife, daughter and in-laws!

The train was at 3:45 in the afternoon from Bandra Terminus. To ensure that we reach on time, we left home at 2, giving ourselves 90 minutes to reach the station (normally an hour's drive).

Everything was perfect till we reached Suman Nagar junction. As expected, we were there in less than 35 minutes.

And then, the jam started!

Hundreds of trucks (or, at least that's what they seemed to me) just appeared all over the place, jamming up the entire road. The traffic just did not seem to move. And even when it did, it was at a snail's pace.

2:40 became 2:45, then ticked on to 3:00 and the clock on the dashboard then started showing 3:10, and we'd moved from Suman Nagar junction to Chunabhatti junction (how much is it - 1 km?). And that's where we saw the issue.

Nothing much, the usual. The signal was off and the policeman was trying to control the traffic!

By this time, I'd lost hope of getting the train. But we plodded on.

The Dharavi stretch was as bad as usual, and we meandered through it, reaching BKC junction at 3:34 (I had my eye on that clock).

Our woes were not yet over. As soon as we turned in towards the road leading to Bandra Terminus, we were greeted by that other ubiquitous sight, dug up road, leading to all traffic only on one side of the road.

And need I tell you about the auto rickshaws in such situations?

We could not turn back. Straight was the only way to go. And that 500 meter stretch from the junction to the station stretched for another 45 minutes!

By the time we reached Bandra station, the train was possibly at Borivli!

There went the holiday!

Anyway, I believe everything's for the best!

Maybe the Lord wills that my son and I accompany them, and we're already making plans for November, during the Diwali weekend.

As of now, my daughter decided to still have her holiday, and dragged her mom along to my in-law's house for a few days.

So there I am, folks. A single father to my son for the next few days, one way or the other.

And maybe the next time, I shall leave for the station in the morning for the evening train!

Of Love and Apples

I have started gaining significant weight of late.

After the accident, the doctors have strongly recommended keeping my weight in check so as to avoid excessive pressure on the knee. In any case, once one is on the wrong side of 40, it is best to be careful due to the other risks involved.

But leading the kind of life that I do, with 14-16 hour work days, no weekends worth calling my own, sedentary lifestyle, no chance of exercise and the stress, it is a tough task to keep weight in check!

In the absence of a gym or walk schedule, I realised that the best way to manage my weight was a strict diet and a daily check.

This daily check involved two things. Standing on the weighing scale thrice a week; and checking my stomach daily while brushing my teeth - whether it is threatening to do a belly dance of its own.

And my diet involved a decent breakfast, fruits or salads for lunch and a light dinner.

Despite this, I had gained 2 kg in the past year. Cause for concern, but not too much.

But a couple of weeks ago, I binged! And the result? Another 1 kg gained in 3 days flat!

Panic set in. I started feeling lethargic, getting pain in my knees, tired after walking even a couple of meters et al.

I felt that even the fruit plate that I eat for lunch is too much, as the canteen-wala packs in a lot of fruits. So I asked my wife to give me apple one daily for lunch.

The first couple of days, I heard lectures on why only one apple is not good enough.

The next couple, I got the apple a day.

Then, I was in a hurry to leave for office, and my wife conveniently ‘forgot’ to give them to me.

After that, the apples got over. Hullo! I had just two, what about the others?

After a week of this game of hide-and-seek, last weekend, I asked her why she was doing this. And I got a lecture on why just one apple is not good enough for lunch. I need a balanced diet. And her idea of a balanced diet – chapatis, rice, daal, vegetables; and an apple!

I said –that’s like a mega-meal which would make me put on more weight, to which she replied that an apple is just a fruit. It is not food.

Anyway, without boring you with the details of our conversation, let me come to the last statement of hers.

“But Mubin, how can I not give you enough food? After all, I love you.”

Now I know the origin of the phrase - ‘Love Handles’.

Getting ready for the DNA ICan Women's Half Marathon

Getting ready for the DNA ICan Women's Half Marathon tomorrow morning.

Uh huh! In case anyone of you are having any doubts about my gender, banish the thought!

Just going to be there as part of the team at 5:00 a.m. (seriously, couldn't it have been a couple of hours later?). Desperately tried convincing wifey to participate, but failed, as usual. And right now handling an irate daughter who wants to participate but cannot; as she can't run alone according to the rules!

Anyway, my shoes are in place, the jeans and T-Shirt ready, had a good morning of sleep (followed - as usual - by office work from noon till now!).

3 races, more than 3,000 participants as of now, 5 NGOs, 3 good social causes - one of them very close to my heart...fingers crossed for tomorrow as the first race kicks off at 6:30 a.m.

Excited and looking forward to going to BKC tomorrow morning.

And Deepika has nothing to do with it :-)

Memories...

Memories have a way of coming up on you.

Sometimes, they creep up ever so slowly, like the little plants that my mother grows, opening up their leaves and flowers one by one for you.

Sometimes, they just hit you like an avalanche, flooding you with long-forgotten people, names, faces, places and reminiscences.

I had not travelled to Dockyard Road, Mazagaon for many years now. But in the past couple of months, I have had about 4-5 opportunities to travel through that area. Nothing special happened the first few times, but the last time a couple of days ago, while driving down the route that I used to take by bus No.45 years ago while going to school, I happened to glance at a building down the left.

And the memories just came flooding back. All the good ones.

Of all my childhood friends from school. All my ‘best’ friends who I have lost touch with over the passage of time.

Of climbing up the narrow flight of stairs of Mudeer’s house, wondering how does a fat person manage, then deciding ourselves that fat people do not stay in this building.

Of being fascinated by Khalid Jamsa playing with his remote controlled car which his father had brought from the US. Khalid himself moved to the US a few years later, and we may not even recognise each other if ever we pass by.

Of Vyjayanthimala, the first girl outside of my family to call me brother. It was the glance at the building where she lived that got back all these memories.

Of watching in horror as Naseem Khan removed his gold ring and dropped it in aqua regia, just to confirm that it actually dissolves gold. And then – horror of horrors – nonchalantly pouring the content down the drain! I did meet a lot of friends at Naseem’s wedding nearly two decades ago; and that was the last time.

Of Salim, who I shall never meet again; Mudeer informed me at Naseem’s wedding about his passing away

Of Michael and Peter, our Headmaster’s sons. Michael was also my classmate, and was the subject of admiration and envy among a lot of us, because of his long sidelocks only on one side of his face.

Of Clifford, my classmate who stayed virtually opposite the school. Everytime we passed his building, we used to get the whiff of a very strange smell coming from various houses. Years later, when I used to go to Bandra on work, I got the same smell, which I realised was of pork being cooked.

Of a lot of others, who I had completely forgotten about, but I remembered their names and the benches on which they used to sit in school.

Of my teachers – all the ones I liked, and some I did not.

And most of all, of that aunty who I will not recognise if I ever met her, but who I have never forgotten. Our school bus had not come in the morning. My father, thinking that I have missed it, gave me 10 paise to go by the BEST bus (public transport). Upon reaching school, I found that our principal had passed away and a holiday had been declared. But I now had no money to go back.

Upon seeing me standing outside the school weeping, this poor aunty who possibly stayed in the one of the neighbouring buildings and came to church there, consoled me and thrust the 10 paise I would need to take the bus home in my hands, just mumbling, “pray for your aunty, child”.

I took the 10 paise the next day to return them, but never saw her again.

It is more than 35 years since that incident, and I cannot remember her face, but as I stood at the spot where she had consoled me, the sunlight streaming on the crying child’s face, and her bent weak frame thrusting possibly her very hard-earned 10 paise into his hands on that morning just came back flooding again.

As I said, memories do have a way...

The Value of Relationships

Last Saturday, I attended the wedding reception of the son of a dear friend of mine.

Yunus Siddiqui – or Yunusbhai – as everyone knows him, had joined Mid Day immediately after college, I believe. And in this day and age of changing organisations, he has remained in the Mid Day Group throughout the past 25-odd years. He handles Inquilab, and was also responsible for Mid Day Classifieds.

Over the past two decades and a half, I don’t think anyone has ever seen Yunusbhai angry or agitated. Even when he was right, he always worked towards making his client and agency partners satisfied. Over time, if there’s one thing he has built, it is strong relationships with people. People who have grown to like him, respect him and trust him.

Anyone who does not believe in the value of building relationships should have been present at the wedding of his son.

I do not know whether to call it his son’s wedding or a Mid Day/Inquilab re-union. Anyone who had worked with Yunusbhai – even for a short while – was there. Be it Abhijit Pradhan or Gaurish Pathare or Satish Menon or Bikash Bannerjee, or the countless others like me, people made it a point to be present and bless the couple. And some people had received just a phone call from Yunusbhai, no more.

Or should we call it a Classifieds agency party? Name the agency, and the person was there. And they had travelled long distances to reach Mazagaon, like Piyush had come all the way from Mulund, Monty had come from Ghatkopar and Samadbhai had braved the Andheri-Kurla Link Road traffic. It definitely wasn’t the food that brought them there.

It wasn’t just ex-colleagues and agency partners. It definitely speaks about the man if his MD, Mr. Tarique Ansari, or Mr. Niranjan Hiranandani and other such senior people make it a point to come for the wedding and stay for a long time.

And lest one thinks it was only about guests, what was interesting was that the hosts for the evening were not only members of Yunusbhai’s family, but many of his friends were standing at each table, receiving guests, taking care of them, ensuring everyone had dinner etc. so that Yunusbhai could be free with the bride and groom. Not that you would expect that from Yunusbhai. He was everywhere – greeting his guests, on stage with the newly-weds, ensuring people were eating and relaxed...

Attending the wedding just reiterated my belief in the power of relationships – not business relationships – but relationships built and nurtured over time. The power of kind words, of making people feel special, of ensuring a win-win scenario for everyone concerned. Values which are embedded in Yunusbhai.

No wonder everyone was just drawn to Mazagaon last Saturday, braving the weekend evening traffic, the small lanes, the dug-up roads, the knowledge that they would not get parking space and may have to walk up a long distance. People’s presence or absence would not have made an iota of difference – the wedding reception would have taken place irrespective. But so many of us did. Does that in itself say anything?

Lastly, Yunusbhai again showed that little glimpse of how much he values his relationships. Within a couple of days, we had a little message in our phones, thanking us for attending his son’s wedding and blessing the newlyweds, and how much it meant to him.

Thank you Yunusbhai. It was your love that drove us all there. May Allah bless your son and daughter-in-law, and may He continue to shower grace on your family. Aameen.

The monsoons are back in Mumbai

Its such lovely weather nowadays in Mumbai. The pleasant chill in the mornings, the nice long walks without getting drenched in sweat.

The monsoons are back in Mumbai.

And so are the frogs.

You can hear them croaking all over the place. Large frogs, small frogs, bull frogs, follower frogs. At every street corner.

Oh, what a noise they make!

And lest I think I can avoid them at home, now their croaking is also covered 'live' on TV - one bull frog on the day he is croaking the loudest. The other days are devoted to assembling a multitude of frogs together to create a cacophony masquerading as mating calls.

The monsoon also brings a great opportunity to wash all the dirty linen that has been accumulated since the last monsoon. It delights me no end to see the sense of community, where everyone spares no effort in helping each other in this washing.

The rain has stopped since the past two days, and the frogs have stopped croaking. But we are told to be prepared for a huge shower and consequently, extremely loud croaks for 2-3 days by a certain group of frogs from 17th onwards, before the monsoon passes by and the frogs retreat and the linen is pressed, folded and kept in the closets; till the next monsoon.

Till then, enjoy the monsoons. So long, folks!

'Me' Time

Its been 8 weeks since I last wrote my blog. 8 weeks of whirlwind activity, late nights, travel, working while commuting and on weekends and catching up on sleep while commuting.

Phew!

The last weekend was the first in a while that I just took a complete off. Didn't even touch the laptop.

Went shopping with wifey, got some broken components fixed for son, played with daughter, chatted with mom, watched TV and generally just chilled out.

And I feel so mentally refreshed!

It also reinforced my belief that somehow - in this rat race - we are losing our grip on what we should value most; our 'me time'.

I now want to start exercising again. Can someone suggest how to a guy who leaves home at 7 am and generally returns only by 11:00 pm (not always out of choice)?